'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.
SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
VIRUS GOING AROUND!!!!! SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!!!!!
if you are on my blog and there’s a button that says “unfollow” in the upper-right corner, DO NOT CLICK IT! it will bring you to a FBI site that will trap your browser and even can access…
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life but at least I didn’t just give Steven Moffat an Emmy
maybe i should send you a bill for all my time you wasted
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life." — Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via peachringslushie)
To anyone going through a heart break: you’ll do more important things in your life than date a swine who couldn’t give you the time of day
I sit next to a popular sports boy in my math class and he was sleeping so i leaned over and doodled a flower on his paper and the first time he didn’t wake up but the second time he did & smiled at me and later in class i saw he had doodled a whole tiny meadow around the 2 flowers and he was trying to hide it but it didn’t work..i know ur secret popular sports boy, u are just as dorky & cute as everyone else
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract